An Open Letter...

Dear Wok & Roll, Dragon Express, Carter Taxi, and some dude named Ubong,

Please stop leaving your crap in my door. Wok & Roll and Dragon Express, I have received no less than 50 menus from each of you. When I moved in here a year and a half ago bringing me a menu was great. I needed to know the delivery places in the neighborhood (besides Domino's). You know what, maybe you forgot you already gave me one and I forgave each of you when I got a second menu. But here's the deal, STOP GIVING ME YOUR MENUS. They go straight from the door to the trash can. Upon coming home nothing frustrates me more than than seeing that folded up pink or blue paper in the door. It's also annoying when I am home, open the door and have to bend down to pick the menu up that fell on the ground when I opened the door. I'm not ordering from either of you ever. So stop, I have no use for yet another copy of your crappy menu. Oh, and Wok & Roll, I believe they're called French Fries, not Fench Fries. On to you Carter Taxi and Ubong (that's a funny name). Mr. Carter Taxi, I have no use for you in my life. I will never use you. Most of the time I don't take cabs from home, I take them back home. And I don't know how you got into my gated complex and then found the time to walk around sticking cards in doors, but don't you have fares to find? And Ubong, you will NEVER help me buy, sell, upgrade, and/or repair a computer. The last person I would call about any of the above services as it relates to a computer is someone who sticks an ugly, poorly made flyer in my door. Oh, and if you want to put two flyers on one piece of paper, use scissors to cut them in half, don't rip them. It looks trashy. As does your MS Word flyer. I mean if you are a computer genius use some fancy program to create your flyer.

So here's the deal, I respect each of you for your grassroots marketing efforts. But for the love of all things sesame chicken, I DON'T WANT ANY OF YOUR STUFF STUCK IN MY DOOR. Plus my neighbor's don't pick this stuff up when it falls out of their doors and the hallways are always littered with traces of you for about a week.

Thanks in advance for your cooperation,
Melissa