Ode to the answering machine

Remember the answering machine?

The other day while leaving a message for a friend of mine who decided not to answer the phone I began screaming "wake up!" into her voice mail. 

Then it dawned on me.  She would never hear my pleas (and demands) until she was already awake and checking her voice mail.  Back in the olden days (and assuming the answering machine was positioned next to her bed) screaming "wake up!" would've woken her up because she would be able to hear the message I was leaving.  I guess an answering machine was the old timey way of screening phone calls.  

I think this antiquated equipment has a lot to offer.  For instance, I'm in the middle of leaving a message for you.  If you see that you've missed a call from me you go ahead and call me back.  But I'm still leaving you a message so either I have to quickly end my message by saying "oh, you're calling me now, bye" or ignore you beeping in, finish my message then when I hang up I have a message from you and now we're confused about who needs to call who back and we never get in touch with each other and I'm stuck on the side of the road with a flat tire (hypothetically speaking, of course).  

If Scenario A takes place and I click over while in the midst of leaving my message then I have to repeat everything I just said on your voice mail to you.  Which is annoying for me because I hate to have to repeat myself.  If this was an answering machine you would've heard the first part of my message and when you picked up we could've continued the conversation.

Answering machines also taught us patience back with everything wasn't so immediate and we weren't always in a hurry.  Remember when you would come home from school or an after school activity and the little red light on your machine was blinking telling you had a message?  The excitement and anticipation of pushing the play button and hearing who called you while you were gone was so exciting (but then it turned out to be a telemarketer).  That doesn't happen anymore.  We always have our cells with us.  If someone calls us, we know who is calling when they are calling.  If we don't answer the phone it is usually by choice.

My favorite answering machine story goes like this.  Years ago my parents gave my grandparents an answering machine (BTW, it's still in use today at Poppy's condo).  Since it's somewhat difficult (especially for grandparents) to figure out how to record the outgoing message for years and years when you called their house and the machine picked up the first thing you heard was my Gramma going "damn."

But, along with 45's, petticoats, non-digital broadcast television, and most importantly the land line, gone are the answering machines.

Unless you are my grandpa, because his is still alive and kickin.  But, ask him to check his voice mail on his cell phone and it's a whole different story.