You really never forget...

I made it back from Florida!

I learned a few things.  

1.  Three nights (really just two days) is not long enough to go to the beach.

2.  You need a vacation from your vacation (I was so exhausted yesterday I never got out of my pajamas).

3.  You really never forget how to ride a bicycle.

We took the really long (and dark) way to Florida on Thursday.  We didn't get out of Atlanta until 7:30pm because Krista had to work.  It was almost 2am (Atlanta time) when we got to Florida.  The drive there was awful.  We drove all the way to Montgomery and took 331 all the way into Fort Walton.  It took hours.  It was a dark, two lane road and hard to navigate because there are no lights.  Don't go that way.  We were exhausted when we got there but still managed to stay up (watching The Hand That Rocks The Cradle on TBS) until like 5am.  We awoke early on Friday and hit the beach.

Saturday we got up super early again and went to breakfast (at The Red Bar - sooooo good.  It's in Grayton Beach and you must go there if you ever in that part of Florida).  We came back to our room (we stayed in Santa Rosa) and rented bikes.  I honestly don't think I've been on a bicycle in 15 years.  I was wobbly at first, but soon it came back to me and it was like I never stopped riding.  It is so true that you don't forget.  I was amazed.  We ended up riding about 3.5 miles back to Red Bar for drinks (I stuck with water because the ride wore me out and I knew we had to ride back).  We saw this awesome bluegrass band.  Then we rode back the 3.5 miles to our hotel.  So, after not having been on a bike in years I did about 7 miles.  I felt like a superstar (a very sore superstar).  Then we headed to the beach and I took a nap in my beach chair under an umbrella.  So relaxing.

We came home on Sunday and took another way back to Atlanta and it seemed faster (but maybe because it was daylight and I could see the road ahead of me). 

The wedding was really beautiful too.

I'm just happy to be home, but now it's back to reality and that's the reality of finding a job.  

Well, in two weeks we'll be off to New Orleans.  So it will be nice to have another break from reality.

Oh, and major sads about Bea Arthur.  I'll miss her.

Gone Beachin'

Not that I've been blogging as much as I should be, I'm not going to be blogging at least until Monday.  Know why?  Because I'm going to the beach!!!  Yee haw!!!!  Unless I get a wild hair (piece of sand) up my butt and decide to share something with your from my BlackBerry (which I probably won't because I plan on leaving it in the hotel room most of the trip) then I'll be back in Atlanta Sunday night where I will head straight to Philips Arena to volunteer for the Food Bank (conveniently at the Bruce Springsteen show).  Have a fab weekend and be totally jeals because all weekend long I'll have the sand between my toes (and everywhere else), the saltwater in my nose (love that smell!), and the sun warming my body.

xoxox!

Welcome Back, Encore?

So I went to see Hall & Oates on Friday.  They were freaking awesome.  It was a short show, a little over an hour and a half, but I got everything I could've wanted from them.  

I knew that Oates shaved his iconic mustache a few years ago, but it wasn't until I was at the show (and in really amazing seats) that I realized how much a mustache-less Oates looks like Juan Epstein (everyone's favorite Jewish Latino Sweathog).  AND, Darryl Hall, if he dyed his blonde hair brown would be a shoe-in for Vinnie Barbarino with his flowing locks, cool guy sunglasses, and leather jacket.  

The Welcome Back, Kotter comparisons went on for hours (long after the not even two hour show) in my head, but it didn't take away from how incredible they sounded.  Rich Girl was a religious experience from me.  The whole show was bookended by Maneater first and a second (or third) encore of Kiss On My List.  

Here's the thing with encores, we all know they're going to happen, so when someone behind me (like a 50+ year old someone) freaks out when H&O leave the stage the first time and begins to panic that they haven't yet done You Make My Dreams or Private Eyes I wanted to turn around (and almost did) and hit him.  Dude, encores are part of a show.  It's like watching an episode of "Rock of Love" and being surprised to find out that your favorite competitor is a stripper (or has fake boobs).  Besides the fact, we're at Chastain, an outside venue.  And even though it wasn't very late when the show ended they are not going to send thousands of fans out of the venue without turning on the house lights.  It's a good thing to know (and I just assumed that everyone did) that the show ain't over until the house lights come on (or until the fat lady sings, but as long as the house lights are on when she does).  

It is because of this that I think encores have lost their luster.  An encore should happen when the band leaves the stage with every intention of going back to their dressing room and changing clothes and partying with groupies, but then they hear the unmistakable roar of the crowd, their crowd, cheering and screaming and calling for more.  And holding their lighters up in the air so the whole crowd looks like an illuminated, glowing, UFO (?).  Except that people don't hold lighters up anymore, save for maybe being at a Metallica show.  That's when the guitar player and the drummer convince the front man to go back out.  "Dude, they're yelling for us.  This is awesome.  Let's go out and give them one more."  Then it really is an encore.  Instead nowadays, probably for safety reasons, the encore is a standard part of any show and even if the band walked off the stage and nobody stood up and demanded more they would still come back out and perform.  In my mind this also defeats the purpose of multiple encores.  You don't keep leaving the stage only to come back because the crowd is going wild.  You do it because that's the way you wanted to (self indulgence maybe?).  I'll be beyond impressed when I see a band leave the stage, the house lights come on, the fans stay in a frenzy and refuse to leave and then the band come back on stage (house lights still up) and do an acoustic version (because at this point they're probably unplugged because the sound guy is union and when he's done, he's done) of Free Bird or something.

Meanwhile, I'll be scouring shows all spring and summer long to find the "new" versions of Mr. Kotter, Horshack and Freddie "Boom Boom" Washington (and Emily, if I check out any chick shows) to go with my updated, older (yet more refined) versions of Barbarino and Juan Epstein.  

As John Sebastian would say "Welcome back, your dreams were your ticket out.  Welcome back to that same old place that you laughed about."  I don't know how that applies here but there was no way I was going to blog about Welcome Back, Kotter and the Sweathogs and not include lines to one of the best TV show theme songs ever.

Pitchmen and why I want a dog...

Did you watch Pitchmen last night?  It was sooooo good.  I like Billy Mays more and more every time I see him and Pitchmen did not let me down.  And I loved the products they highlighted last night.  I thought the GPS Pal was cool and maybe I would buy one if I had a GPS.  But I think it's a great idea proving that necessity really is the mother of invention.  The Impact Gel insoles were awesome.  When that car ran over Sully's hand I was scrambling for my credit card and the phone.  I would like to get a pair for Jamie since he's on his feet all day and doesn't get to wear comfy shoes like sneakers.  He has to wear dress shoes and we all know how comfortable those can be, especially when you're standing all day.  I Googled "Impact Gel insoles" and got a trillion hits.  You can buy these things all over the place.  When I get a job (soon, I hope) I'm going to buy Jamie a pair and tell him "Now that the pain in your ass got a job it's time for you to stop having pain in your feet and lower legs and back."  I think he'll like them.

And the above pic is from our cook out last Saturday.  The cute puppy is not mine.  His name is Dennehy (yes, like Brian) and he belongs to Josh and Krista.  But he's really cute and I love him.  Aren't we adorable together?  This is even more proof of why I am in desperate need of a dog of my own.

One tacky outfit...

I know, three posts in one day! What am I thinking?

So last night the Braves game and post game ended just shy of 10pm so Peachtree TV aired about ten minutes of America's Funniest Home Videos. This was an old one as Bob Saget was hosting (and he hosted the show from 1989-1997, which, really? He hosted for eight years?). Before I could get to the remote to change the channel I was caught staring at his outfit (and took a pic. What did we do before camera phones?).

Ok, steel gray shirt with TWO pockets (and matching pants), a blue and red and yellow striped tie, and a brown plaid type sport coat? Oy. I had to take a picture and share with you. This outfit looked worse on TV, the camera on the BlackBerry did not do it justice. I know Bob's a comedian (and a dirty one at that) but this outfit really isn't even funny. Not even for the late 80's/early 90's.

Speaking of Bob, I heard he has a new sitcom on ABC. I'm just saying.

Bee-Tee-Dubs

Don't forget to watch Billy Mays' new show, "Pitchmen," tonight at 10pm on the Discovery Channel. Here's the description I pulled of the Discovery Channel website.

Billy and Sully try to turn two inventors' million dollar dreams into realities. A man from a Texas trailer park has solved a pesky GPS problem while another man's gel insoles could be big news for sore feet. But will they sell when put to the test?

I don't know who Sully is, but if he's half as cool as Billy we'll be in business. I (heart) Billy Mays.

BTW, I took the Personality Quiz to see which Infomercial Product I am and I am the revolutionary Swivel Sweeper! "Like this amazingly convenient and maneuverable floor sweeper, you like to run around in circles and clean up other people's messes. You're quick and light on your feet, and can recharge your batteries at a moment's notice. You can be a bit of a sucker, but you're so much more than a tool." Hmm...

You can take the quiz too by clicking here.

Day 171

Yes, believe it or not I have been without a full time job for 171 days. It has been 171 days since I heard those fateful words "you are no longer employed here." Certainly not the best day ever.

But on to something way more important.

Do you see the above picture? Horrifying isn't it? That is how Jamie ruined my ice cream.

We keep ice cream in the house. We very rarely eat it, but it's something we always like to have on hand. Last night I was upset because the Braves lost. I sat down at 10pm to enjoy the Real Housewives of NYC (so good as always) and decided that I deserved some ice cream to mend my baseball pains. I scooped out some chocolate chip cookie dough and Jamie fumbled in the fridge for "Hippy" one of two Easter bunnies his Mom had given us on Sunday. We ate "Hoppy," the other Easter bunny, the night before. While Jamie removed "Hippy" from his (her?) cellophane wrap and decorative box I asked him if I could have a little in lieu of adding chocolate syrup to my ice cream. When I turned around the above picture is what was in my bowl.

I could barely eat it because my consolation prize was now looking at me.

Prize Pigs

Today I went to the Terminus Building to do some work for High Rise (watch it.  Watch it now).  

Before I continue, let me give you some background.  At my last "real" job, I dealt with all of our prize winners, contests, and contest entries.  I learned that there is a small group of people, we call them Prize Pigs, who enter contests - a lot.  These people come to all of the events (and not just ours, these same people would also stalk other radio events too), entered every contest (multiple times) and memorized the rules (to make sure they could enter multiple times and call us out if we changed anything).  They were freaks.  They would also take a t-shirt every time they saw us even though everyone knew they had just taken one from us the other day.  These people very rarely had positive things to say or would even say "thank you."  After doing what I did for a while I got to know these people (most of them just by their names, some by faces as well) and would do what I could to find a way to make ineligible (we had a rule that you could only win a prize once every thirty days and only once every six months if you won a prize valued at more than $600).  I got to the point where I would include a line in all contest rules (and post liberally on contest pages on the website) that only one entry per person was permitted and multiple entries would disqualify you.  This barely stopped them.  These people got tricky too.  They would set up multiple email addresses and use nicknames, for instance Bill Smith's email would be BillSmith@email.com and he would also enter as William Smith using WilliamS@email.com.  Very sneaky, but I was onto them.  Don't get me wrong, there were a few that were nice and obeyed the rules, and I always took that into account, but the majority of them were awful, selfish people.  If a contest ended early due to a glitch in the computer system, or something was slightly tweaked (like a method of entry) my phone would ring off the hook.  If someone won concert tickets to one show on Monday and then tickets to something else on Wednesday they would call me to tell me they didn't want the tickets they won on Monday because they knew they couldn't have both and more than likely they would end up only with the pair they won first.  I was as diplomatic and polite as I could be, but these people wore me out.  One guy on the phone one day told me that he plays online sweepstakes all the time and wins thousands of dollars worth of prizes on a regular basis.  I'm all for winning stuff (like the lottery or a good game of trivia) but seriously to make it a hobby, a lifestyle is bizarre.  

So, back to where I began.

I was Terminus today doing some database stuff for High Rise (seriously, WATCH IT) and I noticed how many times the same freaking people entered a contest to win AirTran Airways tickets (if you watch it you too can enter).  It brought me back to old times at the radio and dealing with these Prize Pigs.  When you see someone has entered multiple times, especially if they are trying to be sneaky about it all it does it make you want to ensure they will not win.

There is nothing wrong with entering contests.  I enter everyday (because the rules say I can) to win a trip to the Galapagos Islands with Alex Trebek (and I am going to win) and from time to time I buy a lottery ticket (but the lotto is different because you have to pay to play).  But I will never become a Prize Pig.  

These people are pigs in every sense of the meaning.  They hoard things and most of them are overweight.  I'm not slamming pigs (don't come after me PETA).  I love pigs and think they're cute and wouldn't mind having one one day.  To paraphrase Bon Jovi, these people give pigs a bad name.

Weekend Highlights

I'm not going to give you a whole weekend update because I don't think you need to know that Jamie and I went to Big Lots...

Friday was a holiday.  Not Good Friday, but Braves Home Opener Day!  As you may or may not know I am a huge Braves fan so this is a big deal to me.  We got to the game early because we didn't have tickets.  Once we scored those (from the box office, there was not a scalper in sight) we tailgated for a bit before heading in to Turner Field.  I ran straight to section 203 (we had standing room tickets) to see our good friend Mr. Franklin.  Mr. Franklin is an usher and he is the man.  His section is right behind home plate so we always go and stand at one of the high top tables behind his section.  By the 7th or 8th inning he lets us down to seats.  We exchanged hugs and got ready for the game.  The Home Opener always takes a while to get going because they have to introduce the opposing teams starters, the entire Braves roster, and do a bunch of stuff with kids on the field.  The first pitch was thrown out by retired Braves radio announcer Pete Van Wieren.  Before he tossed out the ball (to Greg Norton!) they showed a video retrospective, which was very nice even though we couldn't hear the audio (it was muffled sounding).  He also got a cool looking award and something in a Tiffany's box (that made me jealous and curious, was it something from the Elsa Peretti collection?).

The ironic part of the night is they were giving out "rally rags" (towels) to people as they walked in.  What a bit of foreshadowing...  After the 4th inning the game was put in an two hour rain delay.  Thank God for the rally rags because those little towels made great seat drying off tools.  We (the Braves) were up the whole game until we played our endless game of pitcher swap out (Lowe to Carlyle to Moylan to O'Flaherty to Bennett to Soriano to Gonzalez and then to starting pitcher Campillo) and let the Nationals take the lead.  Bottom of the 10th inning (1:25am) the Braves finally won!  We went on to sweep the Nationals and are now 5-1.  

Flash forward to Sunday.

We went to see Observe & Report last night at the drive in.  I had high hopes for this movie because Seth Rogen is in it and I love him.  How disappointed was I that an hour and a half later the movie was over and I had barely chuckled (and I'm one of those annoying laugh out loud hysterically people in movies).  There wasn't much of a plot.  There was no good story.  I wonder if he did this movie like between projects just to have something to do with his time?  I'm going to tell you to see it because I want to support Seth Rogen and he hasn't let me down until now, but wait until it comes out on DVD.  We were going to stay for I Love You, Man (always a double feature at the drive in) but it was late and I wanted to get home to catch the second showing of the Rock of Love finale.

I was let down AGAIN!  I didn't love either of the girls Bret had in the final two (Mindy and Taya).  But I really disliked Taya.  I don't know why, maybe it's her endless quest for perfection and she lied a lot (like about being a stripper - when on this show, that's a good thing, everybody else is), but something about her rubbed me the wrong way.  If he had picked Mindy I know it wouldn't have lasted, but at least he wouldn't have picked Taya.  The reunion is next week.  I'm excited to see what gets revealed (if anything).  I did see that some of my fave ho's from Rock of Love Bus are going to be on Charm School with Ricki Lake (?) so I'll def be watching that.  I know there won't be any more Rock of Love's with Bret Michaels (he said so).  I'm just sad for him that after three seasons of additively trashy TV he didn't find his Rock of Love.

One more TV note before I wrap it up for today...

My number one hero, Billy Mays, has a new TV SHOW (not a commercial) debuting on Wednesday (April 15) on the Discovery Channel called Pitchmen.  I don't really know what it's about, but believe I will be watching.  More on that later.

Who are we really waiting for?

So last night was the first night of Passover.  And it got me thinking (as most things do).  The first night of Passover you host a Sedar (and the second night too depending on what kind of Jew you are).  Sedar is Hebrew for order cause on Passover you have to do all sorts of stuff in a certain order.  

One of the things you do is open the door to welcome Elijah in.  I just read up on Elijah and I think he is a prophet and you welcome him because he is the precursor to the Messiah returning (I have no idea what I'm talking about).  The point is you open the door and wait for him to come to Sedar.  You also pour him a glass of wine (if he's coming over he might as well have a drink).  

I've been to over 20 Sedar's in my life and not once has Elijah showed up.  I think he's like Godot.

Remember that play "Waiting for Godot"?  Basically these two dudes are hanging out on a bench waiting for this dude named Godot to show up and he never does.  The same idea later became the movie "Waiting for Guffman."  You know, that Christopher Guest movie?  Where the town is putting on the play and they are expecting Guffman, the big agent or whatever to see them.  

Anyway, that's how I feel about Elijah.  I totally understand that this is a religious thing and it's supposed be symbolic and not literal, but I'm tired of waiting for people to show up that don't.  Who are we really waiting for?

Nobody Likes Me...

Everybody hates me.  I guess I'll go eat worms.

I do feel like no one likes me.  I have three people following me on Twitter.  No one reads my blog (except for you, Mom).  And, I have 45 Facebook friends.  I don't know if that's a lot, but I have a feeling some people just collect friends and don't really feel a connection to you, but just want you to have access to their page and their super cool pics (I have no pics on my page).  

Why does no one like me?  How can I market my blog and increase my readership to, say, 100 people?  

I also have two really big zits right now.  

I need a hug.

(The above pic is me, being sad.)

Kell-amity!

This post is all about last night's (March 31) ep of The Real Housewives of NYC, so now you've been warned.

O! M! G!

Last night's episode was pure drama. Not "dramz" like Speidi and Lauren and Audrina and Brody and Stephanie have on The Hills. This was real drama.

There were so many fights I had to keep notes. First we had Bethenny vs. Kelly. Then Ramona vs. Kelly (almost). Then Jill vs. Mario (Ramona's husband). Then Ramona and Mario vs. Silex (Simon and Alex). It was just too much. The only housewife that wasn't involved in some sort of altercation last night was LuAnn. I guess Countess' don't squabble (though she did go off on Ramona a few weeks back when Ramona implied that The Count is an old man, sorry, but I agree, not that there's anything wrong with a (much) older man). BTW, news broke yesterday that The Countess (almost a Duchess) and The Count are getting a D-I-V-O-R-C-E. I hate to be negative, but who didn't see that one coming? He's never around.

I have to say that new housewife Kelly sucks. She's awful. And not in the good way that grabs ratings. She's just the worst and the show was better off without her. She has a holier than thou attitude. When she said last night that she went to Columbia, my mouth fell open. But my point is this, how dare she attack Bethenny like that. Bethenny speaks her mind but she is real. I don't know that for fact as I don't know Bethenny, but you can just tell. She owns up to what she says and does and never apologizes for being herself, and you gotta respect that about a person. Even LuAnn took up for her (sort of) when Kelly rehashed their run in. So, if you didn't see last weeks ep Kelly shows up to this planning meeting for a charity event Jill is hosting for arthritis (Jill's daughter suffers from arthritis, and apparently Ramona's daughter does too - what is in the water in NYC?). She shows up late and is rude the whole time she is there. So Bethenny, when asked by another person at the meeting, gave her honest opinion and compared Kelly to Madonna, which I think was her way of calling Kelly a diva. And no offense to Madonna, she deserves to be a diva, if she wants. Kelly continues to inform everyone how she doesn't lend her name to anything. Well, Kelly, why show up to a charity meeting if you have no intentions of being involved? I would've politely declined. I'm sure everyone would've appreciated that a lot more than having this awful woman show up late, derail the meeting, and make an ass out herself. So cut to this week when Kelly asks Bethenny to meet her for a "sit down." Kelly arrives half an hour late with not even a phone call (or a purse! How do you go out by yourself without a purse? Where do you keep your keys?). When Bethenny calls her on it she replies that she doesn't care that she's so late. Kelly continues to berate Bethenny, telling her she's "up here" while Bethenny is "down there." It goes on like this, with Kelly putting herself on a pedestal and insulting Bethenny. So disgusting. And immature. Kudos for Bethenny for sitting there and acting like a true adult (and sane person) while this wacko goes off. After Kelly leaves the table Bethenny gathers her purse (see! How do you go out without a purse?) and heads for the door where Kelly is waiting. WTF? This is straight up Spencer and Lauren shit. Kelly accosts Bethenny again and it's like, dude, why are you still there waiting for her to leave so you can ambush her again? Grow up. So they exchange words again, decide they will never be friends (thank God), and Bethenny leaves. Bethenny is the one that coined the word Kell-amity, saying Kelly was a complete calamity. We see Kelly going back into the bar to meet her date. Some douchey foreign dude with stringy hair who obviously has no real interest in Kelly besides her long legs and leathery face. I can only imagine what this would've turned out like had this been the Real Housewives of Atlanta instead of classy NYC.

So for round (almost) two we have Kelly returning and this time her opponent is Ramona. Ramona apparently has been in fashion her whole life. She went to FIT (I know what that is because that's where Lauren goes on The Hills) and worked for Calvin Klein and stuff. So, OK, Ramona gets fashion. Good for her. So, Ramona gets front seats for the Badgley Mischka show and invites Kelly to go with her. Later on Kelly's article in Page Six goes to print and talks about how she's introducing these women to NYC Fashion Week (which obviously she didn't watch Season 1 or she would know that they've all been there and done that). So Ramona freaks out because she took Kelly to the freaking BM show. At the Page Six party Ramona pulls Kelly aside and asks her about it and Kelly says she was talking about everyone but Ramona. I wouldn't have let that fly, but Ramona, surprisingly, did.

If you remember from Season 1 Ramona and Jill got all super competitive in a tennis match. Jill ended up winning. So I guess they've been trying to get together to play another game. This time Ramona's partner will be her tennis pro husband Mario. So Mario is trying to arrange this game and for whatever reason they can't figure out a date cause whenever Mario is in town Jill is unavailable and whenever Jill can do it Mario can't. So this comes to a head at the Page Six party. Mario basically attacks Jill and is totally being a grade a a-hole. Telling Jill she does nothing but shop and eat and go on trips with Bobby. Speaking of Bobby (Jill's husband), he is so funny, he keeps asking Jill if she needs him to get involved. But like a strong, Jewish woman she doesn't need him for this battle. Mario reverts to a five year old and does nothing but repeat the same insults over and over and mocks Jill. She, being the adult, tries to get away from him, gets engaged on her phone (a very clear signal that the conversation is over), and even calls for Wayne (Wayne, as we learn, is her driver but also does security for her. I love Jill). Mario ends up walking away on his own. But not after making an immature ass out of himself. And all this over a dumb tennis game. Seriously. It's like people that cheat at bar trivia. It's just a bar game.

Then we see Mario talking to Simon when Ramona walks up (not sure where she was during the Mario vs. Jill situation, but it was probably best she wasn't there). Ramona for a second is actually cordial to Simon and he to her. Then Alex walks up and I'm not sure how or why but shit hits the fan. Apparently Ramario (I just made that up) is mad at Silex because they invited Silex to a party with fancy, important people the night before Alex's topless photos were published in the tabs. So Ramario felt betrayed because these were people that don't like topless women? Anyway, Silex says they had no idea at that time the pictures were going to be leaked. Cut to Simon giving Us Weekly a plug for pubbing the pics. Ramona interviews that of course they knew because obviously it was them that leaked the pics. Which I totally believe. These are the most status craving people ever. So this fight ends with two parties simply walking away from each other.

Bravo re-runs everything a billion times so if you missed this ep or don't watch the show you need to make a point to watch this episode. So good.

For the record, Jill is my fave. I want to be her BFF.

I love TV with some drama and this gave me my money's worth.

Bee-Tee-Dubs, the above is pic is from Season 1 and doesn't include Kelly. I did that on purpose. I don't need her mug ugly-ing up my blog.